11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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