just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
