Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
