Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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