you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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