I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
