Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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