oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
