I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
