I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
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