Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
