I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
