this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
