can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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