we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
