Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize