dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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