i'm signing you up for texting rehab
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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