i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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