i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize