My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
