i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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