It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
