Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You're a waste of cheezeits
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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