Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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