You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
