I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
