my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
