A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Boobs are out for the taking
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
