3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
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