Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
