Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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