its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
