Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
