if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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