girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
