Do you still have your period?
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
