I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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