You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize