Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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