Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
