I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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