Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
