How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
