I puked a lego.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
