Pants 0. Shit 1.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm like, not good at living.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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