ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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