Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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