so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
