I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize