So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
