Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
