Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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