After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
