Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
