If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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