Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
