I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you win again, gameday.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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