It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
