10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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