i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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