I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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