if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
